Finding Love in Singleness

I’m so grateful for my friends, Lauryl and Kasey. Most of you read their guest blog last week on pursuing and being pursued. They crushed it and it’s so great having their perspective in my own personal dating life.

Let’s be honest, friends, dating sucks. My Grandma always told me growing up that dating was fun. People need to “date like they use to” and how she “had such a great time.” Well, Grandma, I beg to differ.

Being in a relationship can be fun – if you’re in a healthy one and dating CAN be fun, but I wouldn’t say dating IS fun. There’s the weird stage in the beginning of do you like me, do I like you, how much should I flirt, etc. Sometimes it progresses and sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve become a frequent user of the line “anotha one bites the dust.”

As a single woman attempting to survive the dating ~~world~~ jungle, I make it a goal to not go on a date with just anyone, never use a guy for entertainment, and try not to flirt if I have no intentions of continuing anything.

I think something I’ve learned most recently, though, is learning to stay in a state of contentment in my relationship with the Lord even when there’s so much uncertainty and ever-changing situations with guys.

Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians how unmarried (single) people are able to focus all their time and energy on their relationship with God. And it’s true. While God is still your primary focus in a relationship, marriage causes a little bit of a shift. As husband and wife, you’re suppose to love each other as God loves you. The husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church and their bodies belong to one another. God is most definitely at the center of their marriage, but their attention is split between their spouse and God.

Being content in singleness looks like joy in your relationship with the Lord; Focusing your attention on Him and letting your heart be consumed by Him. No matter what may or may not happen in a worldly relationship, you can be secure in who you are because He loves you and your purpose on this Earth is to glorify God.

Singleness can be used for your good and His glory because your time, attention, and heart are free to be in love with only Him.

Your free time can be used by building & pouring into relationships with people. It can be going
on a mission trip across the world or a few states over. Singleness can glorify Him because you’re showing the world you’d rather stay single – even though the world is pushing romance on you – than date someone who doesn’t know the Lord.

Don’t think Jesus wasn’t on the struggle bus, either.

Jesus was single.

He came to Earth in human form and experienced life as we do (1 John 1:1). He was fully human. He had a human heart, mind, and will.

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His glory, glory as the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.” John 1:14

I talked with a friend about this and she asked me, “Why do you think Jesus was able to be single and content during His life on Earth?” I didn’t really know how to answer the question.

She said, “it was possible for Jesus because He is satisfied in and of Himself. We don’t need a relationship with another sinner to be fulfilled. We need a relationship with a perfect God. Human relationships are just shadows of the real relationship we desire with God.”

This is why we can be single, too.

Society has taught us that love will fulfill us. A significant other will make our lives better, our hearts more full, and our souls more joyful.

Being in love is the pinnacle of life. Right?

No, my friend. What’s consistent through everything is Jesus and what will fulfill you and I is His love for us.

Something I often forget.

No matter what goes on or who walks in – or out – of our lives, Jesus is there. Loving us endlessly. Pursuing our hearts perfectly. Knowing everything about us.

And yet, I still wonder if and when I’ll get married, who will it be, when will I meet him, do I trust God to bring me the man He has intended for me? So much curiosity about a person I may not have met yet, but at times I’d rather ponder those questions than work to know everything about Jesus, pursue Him constantly, and love Him endlessly.

In the midst of my singleness, I do pray for my future husband. I pray for his heart, his purity, his strength & gentleness. I pray that God has created in him a sense of leadership, a work ethic, a love for Him, the ability to lead me and us in our marriage, and so, so much more.

Praying for your future spouse and marriage is so important. I encourage you to do that, but don’t take for granted this time of singleness.

Let God use you and work through you. Give Him your heart. Find contentment in a relationship with Jesus.

He is the only perfect love story.

Resources:

31 Prayers for my Future Husband

31 Prayers for my Future Wife

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@morganashley_w @ThePoiemaLife @morganashley_w